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October 13, 2010

Working On My Fitness...


Tonight I was back at the gym working on my fitness. Sewing isn't the only area that I've been slack on lately so it feels good to try and get into a new routine.  I'm sorry to disappoint anyone but this post isn't about mastering Zumba or promoting the benefits of stretching.  No, this post goes much deeper.  Brace yourselves because I'm about to delve into the inner sanctum of every gym - the women's locker room. 

Let's be frank, is it only me or is the gym locker room on par with the twilight zone? I have never experienced stranger sights or encountered more bizarre people than when I've been in a locker room.Let me just clarify that I belong to your typical, over-rated, chain of gym franchises - nothing too fancy but the things I've seen lately are just too over the top to keep to myself.  

It first began when I saw a new sign posted next to the hairdryers.  It simply read, "Hair Dryers Are To Be Used For Hair On the Head ONLY."  What?? I thought to myself that this must be some kind of joke, that is until I saw some woman drying her lady bits with the hair dryer. Yes I just said 'lady bits'.  This incident could only be matched by the woman who brings in family size jars of olive oil to moisturize herself, creating an oil slick and OH &S hazard around her.  Wait - there is more!  Recently I was getting changed and glanced over at the woman next to me who just happened to be putting on a french maid costume, complete with stilettos and fishnets.  As I stood there stunned and not knowing where to look, she threw on a trench coat and walked out the door.  Kinda put my little cardigan number to shame.  Who knows what adventure awaits me tomorrow?

26 comments:

shine little light* said...

And that. Is precisely why I don't go to the gym.
(good on you for getting into the fitness routine though!)
Hilarious stories! Bring on more!

oscar and ruby said...

Hilarious! I want to join your gym. And perhaps moonlight as a french maid. Steve would fall over if I came home from the gym in that outfit.
And the hairdryer lady? That is just weird. Doesn't she own a towel?

captain kk said...

he he!! so funny! made me laugh :) maybe you should make this a regular feature.. "locker room antics"

kitty said...

Are you for real?!?!?
My goodness, um hello who on earth dries their lady bits with a hair drier... at the gym?!?!?!
I really do question society sometimes. I guess that's why I live up on a hill in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cattle.
The only weirdos I have to worry about is the husband & the Huckle... & me!

mama bear said...

Oh dear. I've been to a gym once. A really fancy one in London. (A friends membership). They had special things to dry your swimmers. WTF?

I didn't notice anyone drying their lady garden though. Wrong. So, so wrong.

Good luck next time. Don't slip over! x

Kellie {Lemon Cordial} said...

Oh, that's enough to turn me off gyms once and for all. Well done for having the courage to turn up tomorrow though. You're a brave woman!

Kat - TeamKitten said...

Ahh Gym Schym! I'm hopeless at them. The first time i tried a gym i think i was about 17, had a free pass for a week and I seriously blacked out after a session on the bikes on my first day. My poor body had not known that kind of pain before. I was too embarrassed to go back there.
Been thinking of joining one again lately though, i'll be avoiding the hairdryers - that's fer sure! x

Nell said...

As if I needed another reason not to venture into a gym! I wonder where the hell the woman in the French main's outfit was heading? There's a brilliant idea for a book right there! But i'm in agreement with everyone else. Drying your lady bits with the hairdryer is seriously wrong.
Who knew what randomness occured behind the closed doors of a local gym? xx

Marie said...

Ah ah this is hilarious ! Crazy stuff happens in the locker room.
I have a gym at work (very cool) but seing my coworkers walking around half naked in the locker room is something I wish had never happened...
Have a great day lady xx have fun at the gym tonight :)

L A C E Y said...

WOW! are you serious?!? haha, this is hilarious!

Frau S said...

No! Not really?!

Hazel said...

This is soo funny. Gosh I'm afraid my gym is quite dull in comparison. Well at least it livens up your visits to the gym!

ChloƩ said...

That is hilarious. I am way too shy/easily embarrassed a person to EVER do anything even slightly strange in front of other people. I remember being a little girl in the locker room at the YMCA after gymnastics lessons and being completely shocked that people even changed in front of each other naked...but I was 7.

dear olive said...

That is hilarious! Imagine the meeting where the management came up with the wording of that sign ... Kellie xx

Georgia said...

Blimey! I think any stand up comics looking for material need to get themselves to gym stat!
Keep the stories coming Jaclyn, they're hilarious! G x

katiecrackernuts said...

God, it's like workout and a show. Makes the price of gym membership worth it - you get more than you'd get at Hoyts by the sound of it.

Marie said...

Wow, what a strange environment!

Please continue to share the bizarre things you'll encounter.

I am your newest follower!:D


***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com

Kristi said...

i had nooooo idea people dried their lady bits.

this free bird said...

okay this is insane. drying the lady bits w/the dryers?? holy mother of pearl i have now heard it all.

xoxo,
carrie

Sammie said...

Hmm, Interesting...
I live so close to my gym that I choose to go home and NOT enter the locker room.. Scary...

PottyMouthMama said...

It sounds AWESOME. Except for the oil slick and the lady bits lady.. EW! Who does that?!

I want more more more!

handmade romance said...

hilarious!! what a great post. sounds like good motivation to go back for the next installment. perhaps you could start a whole new blog devoted to women locker room antics.

olivia rae said...

this makes me want to get back to the gym solely for entertainment value!

SJ said...

this cracked me up!

i *almost* want to join a gym just for the characters. But then maybe that would be just a bit weird if I didn't actually use the gym equipment?

Becca said...

No.way.
Seriously?

Bridget said...

blowdrying her nether region with a blowdryer?!?

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